Movie Star Addiction

Yeah, you're pretty fly
You made my curiosity spark
The sight of you made my head turn in curio
I'm a suicide blonde prone to an addictive harmony

When we kissed, every chill i posessed
Trembled, quivered, shivered, shuddered
Your hands moved across my body
Your lips embraced my weakness

You told me of my remarkability
and i believed you, yeah you were pretty jive
Then tomorrow you were vacant, like
Someone playing a piano without teeth: empty

The melodies reverberated of an alleyway
Where once lived a movie star
The kind that lit her cigarette with prestige
And lived in the brick, black night

A movie star that moved on from the drowned piano brick black
To an iridescant saxophone neighborhood
Suffocating with lights and lights and notes and busy-ness and lights
i was your alleyway, i was your home

Ain't nothing around here for you worth coming back for
i thought, sittin on my hollowed piano
Ain't nothin in me that the 3-story house with that tree swing
ain't got; besides maybe my piano, my bricks, and my dark.

Days melted to centuries
And baby, your photo faded
People moved in upstairs, downstairs, next door
My piano had a new set of ivory teeth

When my new cad black phone rang with your call
I picked it up, pressed my ear close to your voice
You stood at my brick door with those bags
I opened my door to you, God i wish i hadn't

You played my piano, admired the new keys
Persuaded me of your enticement
PLaced a black fedora on my forehead
And, for the first time, i felt like you were home again

Like the movie star that took her bags from the trunk
clunked them on the brink patio
and with that carefully-rolled cigarette steaming in her fingertips
Opened her arms to her home

We sat next to each other like it was when we were content
but then i sensed your hesitation...it was all too well-known
even in the dark i could feel your eyes move past mine
And then i heard your voice on the line with her

And the next day the bags were gone from my patio
my piano's keys were laid splintered in its mouth
Your cigarette still burned on the floor
and your scent remained on the hollow of my pillow

Bottom line baby: you're my movie star addiction
the immediate pleasure only results in long-lasting pain
so hey, why the hell not, let's live in the moment
let's take another hit

~Janina Yates

The story I should Write

old mr. webster could never define what's being said between your heart and mine.
and when the answer that you want
is in the question that you state
come what may
come what may
I have the hardest time resisting you.
i dont mind you comin here and wastin all my mind.
cause when you're standin oh so near i kinda lose my mind,
yeah... i guess you're just what i needed
i don't want the world to see me
'cause i don't think that they'd understand;

but if i wanted silence, i would whisper
if i wanted loneliness, i'd choose to go
and if i liked rejection, i'd audition
and if i didn't love you, you would know

i find the map and draw a straight line over rivers, farms, and state lines.
the distance from A to where you'd B, it's only finger lengths that i see.
i touch the place where i'd find your face.
my fingers increases of distant dark places.
i hang my coat up in the first bar, there is no peace that i've found so far.
the laughter penetrates my silence as drunken men find flaws in science.
their words mostly noises ghosts with just voices,
your words in my memory are like music to me.
and miles from where you are, i lay down on the cold ground and i,
i pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms

turned my whole world upside down
save me, i am swallowed by the guilt of this.
you're gone, sleeping in the dust. we will not let time erase us.