I want...

I want you to know what it feels like
To have your first kiss
Those volcanic butterflies that
Stumble in your stomach
Stirring stand-still feelings that stop you from hesitation
I want you to know what it feels like
To drive your first car
Hands gripped tight to the wheel,
Trembling, quivering, head-on-a-swivel-kind-of-excitement
Thirst for the open road and where it will go, what-will-you-know-kind-of-feeling.
I want you to know what it feels like to hold your diploma at graduation
Finally fulfilling preceding expectations
Wiping from your face the condensation
Ready to take your first steps alone into the nation.
I want you to know what it feels like
To travel,
To meet strangers become family
To dance on wet soil, surrounded by shadows from a midnight campfire
(Too wild and alive to be extinguished).
I want you to know what it feels like
To hold a lover’s hand
To feel safe in enveloping arms, to feel topless and secure
To feel the electrified empty spaces between a fingertip to your lower back.
I want you to know what it feels like
To hold your first child and let them know that everything’s gonna be alright
That the monsters and boogeymen are simply noises and shadows.
I want you to assure them, with your caressing, comforting words
That you’ll always be there and they need have no fear
With your voice oh so near.
I want you to know how it feels
To watch your children grow old
Like daisies on steroids
Feelings your experience grow taller as your bones grow smaller and your love spreads over our family
Like a blanket for cover
I don’t want you to know what it feels like, however,
To sit in a hollowed-out church shell
Watching your family fill the rows
Knowing what will happen next
Drowning in tears
Knowing you were the one we turned to for smiles
Knowing you played the violin
Only because I do
Knowing your favorite sign was of peace
Only because mine is
And all those times I ignored your calls
I want you to know how sorry I am.
I want you to know how much I love you
And I want you to know
How much
I
Want
You
Back.